Today was one of those days where the silence was a friend. I rode my bike to the library and the silence was a friend. It seemed like everyone was appreciating it today. It was so weird because I am rarely out on Saturdays and I thought it was like any other day. Busy, busy, work, work. But, nope. So silent and nice. No one understands how much silence is a good thing.
My plan has been moved up a bit. I had to buy them earlier because timing is everything. Now step two, which will take a couple of months to deal with and figure out how to do it without creating a fuss.
So, I know I disappeared there for no reason a ‘tall. I don’t know if I am actually back either. Things happen and you feel the need to become completely invisible from the world. So I have been working and playing games on the computer and pretty much burying myself in books. Becoming invisible isn’t actually that hard when people have forced you to be invisible for the most part already. Sew your lips tight, press yourself against the wall, become the wall. Let people forget you were ever there. It is easy, yes? Probably not for YOU, right? You love to talk, and laugh, and sing. You are happy and no one forces you to be invisible. Good. Maybe you can become my spokesperson.
Anyways, there’s this book I am reading about this man who has terminal cancer. He only has a few months and as he is a doctor, he knows what that entails for him. So, he decides to kill himself. He plans to go to the mountains where he used to hunt with his two dogs and make it look like an accident so his daughter won’t ever know he had cancer and such.
I wonder what YOU would do if you were in his place. Would you deal with the pain to have those few months OR would you kill yourself so your child wouldn’t have to see you suffer and you wouldn’t have to feel that suffering?
And do you believe that people who are in that position have the right to have the kind of death they want?
I’d kill myself. Who cares about my pain, but I do care about theirs. And that I’d die to have them avoid.